Sticking to my Guns

I will stick to the rules I laid out.  I won't give in just because it takes more time or to stop the whining.  I will remember that what I teach my daughter today forms who she will be tomorrow. 

These are the things I keep telling myself when I'm feeling tired or frustrated.  I've been working on teaching my toddler to put away her toys after she's done playing with them.  That also means cleaning up messes that she makes.  I have to say that some days this is easier to say then to do.  Sometimes I just want to pick them up myself instead of wasting the added 20 minutes or leaving them there for another day.
 

My reason, I'm too dang tired.  I'm going on 31 weeks pregnant with my second child and I'm also running this house solo for now.  The only thing that keeps me going is that I don't want my kid to turn into a horror like some other examples I see.  I love my child enough to know that the rules and boundaries I place today benefit her in the future.  It also helps knowing that I will have help in a few weeks when my family comes.
 

This is my parenting style and I just needed to remind myself why I'm doing this.  What about you?  What are you having trouble with?  What lessons are you currently trying to enforce in your household?

"I Miss my Daddy"

My husband is on the big "D".  So I've been the mommy and the daddy for the past six months.  All military families deal with this, it might not be the lifestyle we choose but it's a lifestyle we learn to deal with.  My almost 4 y/o has been doing pretty good so far.  We have been able to hear her daddy's voice every once in a while and she understood that her daddy was working on his ship.  The past week has been extremely difficult for both of us.  She's been telling me every night before we close our eyes for the day "I miss my daddy.  I want daddy to go home."  The past three nights she's been crying herself to sleep telling me "I want my daddy. I don't like his ship anymore. I want daddy to go home."

 At anytime before he was selected for chief I had the open of calling his department so he could talk to her for a few minutes.  No, I'm not one of those wives that call all the time or even on a frequent basis.  However, I was fortunate enough to have a hubby work in a field that has access to phone, if I really need to get a hold him.  It helped keep most of the meltdowns at bay and I credit that to how long she's been okay with the big "D".

Now that he's busy with chief training we haven't really had many conversations with him due to his schedule.  I think that combined with the length of time he's been gone has taken its toil on my toddler.  I could see signs that she needed her dad even before this past week.  She would cling to my brother in law, our baby sitter's husband and the other day she hugged the delivery guys leg.  (That freaked me out!)

Last night she was finally able to hear his voice.  She took over the phone and told him all about her day, all her little owies and how much she missed him.  It didn't take much just the sound of his voice.  I don't doubt it was hard for him to hear her whisper "I miss you daddy. I love you daddy. Can you come home and play with me?"  I was certainly tearing up hearing their conversation.  Now we're just counting down the days.  Are you a military wife?  How do you deal with long separations?

Toddler with a 'Tude

Any mom to a toddler can tell you that everyday can be a challenge dealing with their ever changing emotions from happy to screaming bloody murder at some real or imagined slight.  This toddler mom feels like mommy of the year some days and most other days feels like nothing works.  What I want to know is if this new personality I'm dealing with has to do with following a bad example or just part of the growing pains.

She's been giving me sass lately and ignoring me when I tell her to do something.  I'm talking about standing there with her hands on her hips, rolling her eyes up in her head and giving me a flippant remark.  Yesterday, she tried talking back to me and complained the entire time she was in time out.  Even though she knew the more she talked back the longer her time out would be.  She ended up falling asleep on the couch and finally giving mommy a hour break.

I'm feeling at a loss here on how to proceed.  The new baby is coming and the short time I currently have to spend with her will mostly be taken up with the new baby.  I don't want her behavior to get to the point of no return.  Yet, what I'm doing to correct it only seems like a temporary band aid.  I just wish I knew if this acting out is a normal process for 3 almost 4 year olds.  Is it due to following another child's bad behavior or even acting out from the upcoming baby?  If only children came with manuals most of my hair would still be black and not grey.  What do you think readers?  Have you gone through this with your child?  Did you link it to something specific like baby #2 or a bad example?  What worked for you at home?

Wordless Wednesday

Future doctor or nurse, with a-tude.

Sushi Splurge

Our next stop today was lunch.  What better way to spoil ourselves than sushi? I've been craving sushi for a couple of days now and my little spot is N'joy sushi in the Mill Creek Shopping Center.  We've been going there for the past two years and they already knows us pretty well.  They've seen my daughter grow up and know how we like our food. 

My daughter always eats well when we go there and I wasn't disappointed this time either.  She stuffed herself on the child's portion of teriyaki chicken and started feeling the effects of food coma before I got her into the car.  This was the easiest nap time in the past two weeks. She was out like a light before I even pulled out of the parking lot. Thank you N'joy!

Tantrum

Tantrums.  Yes, that one would can in fact strike fear in a full grown adult.  When I was a new mom I would hear horror stories about toddler tantrums and the terrible twos.  I also saw many frazzled parents dealing with their own terrible two year old.

As my own daughter began developing her tantrums my parenting strategies changed to take into account her bad behavior.  Some days it seems like whatever it is I'm doing is working.  While other days, I want to crawl into a dark hole and hid.  What's even worse is the more my child is developing her language skills and motor skills the tantrums are only getting worse, not better.  WHY, WHY, WHY?!?!?  Shouldn't it be the other way around?  Now that she's able to tell me what she wants shouldn't the her frustration go down?

Today's tantrum was in epic proportions.  I had an unexpected day off when my day care called to say the are close for possible mold.  So I thought it would be a great idea to check out the child's concert in the park at Silver Lake.  Tim Noah was there and the concert was free.  I never heard of the guy but I guess he's this big singer of children's songs.

Izzy had a great time singing, dancing, and jumping around during the concert.  We even stayed after to play on the amazing play ground.  I would have let her play longer but it was very crowded and I had a big bag of things I couldn't lug around while chasing after her.

Once I told her it was time to go, she flipped.  This child screamed nonstop for 40 minutes.  She screamed on the way out of the park, through two time outs trying to leave the park, in the car ride home, unpacking the car and refused to take a nap.  I have never seen her THAT bad.  She has here moments but never screamed at FULL volume the entire tantrum.  I was so surprised that I didn't get flustered and kept me cool the entire time.  I even stuck to my guns and had her sit in a time out and made her say sorry to get out of it.  She thought she was off the hook and when I kept trying to leave the screaming continued.

What was your child's worse tantrum?  Was it at home or in public?

Parenting Compliments

As a parent you question how you are raising your child and you hope at the end of this journey your child grows up to be a well adjusted, contributing member of society.  My child didn't arrive with an instruction booklet or a pair of glasses the see into the future.  So I don't know if what I'm doing now will result in a positive thing or negative thing.  My daughter is going to turn 2 in two months and she is a Toddler with a capital "T".   There are days that she makes me so frustrated that I need to take a moment to myself to regroup.  While other days my eye get misty and my heart skips a beat because I feel so thankful I'm her mommy.

Since the "terrible twos" and the "toddler tantrums" have made an appearance in our household I've tried different tactics to see what works best with my toddler.  I definitely did not want my daughter to think it was okay to scream, whine, or throw a tantrum to get what she wanted.  I made it a point from the very beginning, that she had to say "please mommy" if she wanted something.  As her vocabulary increased I helped her through simple sentences to ask for what she wanted.  For example, "More milk please mommy." 

These days she's been using the whine/scream/tantrum tactic first and it's been tough to shake her from that bad habit.  Now in the face of all that screaming I keep saying, "You have to use your words, mommy doesn't understand you when you scream like that" until she gives me enough hints to figure out what she's screaming at.  Once I figure out what she wants and she starts to calm down then I prompted her to stand in front of me, cross her arms and use her words to ask mommy nicely for what she wants.  I tell her "It's NOT okay to scream at mommy like that, when you want something you need to use your words and ask mommy nicely."

I really think whatever I'm doing is really working.  We were at that vet today and she started whining.  We went through the steps, stand in front of me, cross her arms, ask nicely, and follow up with thank you.  The vet gave me the BIGGEST COMPLIMENT on my parenting.  She said she's never seen a child with such good manners.  She really liked how I handled it and even said she wants to use that when she has children.   How awesome is that! Toddlers are tough and I'm sure I have more white hair from the stress but that little pat on the back gave me the validation that I just might be doing the right thing after all.  :)

Have you received any comments that made you feel the same?  What were they?  Have you given anyone else positive parenting comments?  What did you see to make you share that compliment?

Discipline

There are times when nothing I do seems to work with my toddler.  It's as though as her confidence grows so does her willingness to talk back.  I'll be the first to admit that I'm no expert at discipline.  I just try my best to reinforce consequences for bad behavior.  Izzy can throw a tantrum like the best of them with the tears, the screaming and even flailing legs for an added affect.  That said I still think that generally Izzy is pretty well behaved.

We had another play date today with our neighbor and her two year old.  It seems a little harsh to say but I think she is out of control.  The first two times I could chalk it up to her being overly tired.  At this point I want to say it's just her behavior.  I watched as she repeatedly did things against her mother's wishes when the consequences weren't enforced.  At one point she came to whisper to me a request that her mother just told her she couldn't do.

I felt for the mother, she genuinely seemed frustrated at her child's behavior. I only reinforced what the mother already told her.  I smiled and inwardly cringed at the havoc she was doing to my house.  I still want the two girls to become friends but I don't' want Bella's bad behavior to rub off on Izzy. Have you ever been in the position where you wanted to jump in but didn't think you should?  Did you ever stop going to a play date in the chance the behavior would rub off on your child?

Reminiscing

As my time as a stay at home mother comes to an end I've been reminiscing. Today, I've been thinking about what I did so I didn't get "stir crazy". I found that even a short trip to the store was enough for my daughter and I.

During the car ride, the time walking to and from the car as well as walking the aisles I would point out objects and ask/tell her what shape or color they were. We would wave hi/bye to people we came across. My silly girl even applied that to the trees, animals and the objects too! My favorite was when she kept saying hello to the bread at the grocery store.

What do you do to maintain your sanity as a stay at home mom? Do you have any tips, favorite memories you would like to share?

Toddlerdom

What do you always hear about toddlers? I'm sure "terrible twos" and tantrums rate at the top of the list. Sure, that is definitely a part of raising a toddler. My toddler is two, she has tantrums and sometimes she can be terrible.

Why isn't all the great things at the tip of everyone's tongues? I'd rather celebrate how amazing my toddler is. At least that's what helps me deal with the stress when my toddler is a little "terror".

It absolutely amazes me how quickly she learns. She's able to say words, phrases and even sentences that I never realized she was able to do. She's walking, running, climbing, and jumping. She able to successfully tell me what she wants, most of the time. Even in a week I'm able to see amazing differences in my little baby.

Toddlers are a handful. Toddlers can make you pull out your hair and count all the extra grey ones. Toddler moms, let tomorrow be the day we celebrate how amazing our little terrors are.