Biggest Mistake!

I've been writing about my adventures in weaning my almost two year old daughter from da Boob.  It's her most favorite thing ever!  She gets so excited when I whip that sucker out.  She loves it so much that she will volunteer "more boo boo peess mama" (translation - more boob please mama) without any coaching from me.  I started the process of weaning her about two weeks ago starting with the middle of the night feedings.  Things were going pretty good.  By the end of that first week I could say that she was no longer asking for the boob in the middle of the night and I was getting the best sleep since before I gave birth.

Last week I had planned to wean nursing before bedtime but I was scheduled to go to a CLEC course for 8 hours three days that week and I needed sleep.  So for two weeks I could say that the middle of the night feedings we successfully gone.  As you can guess from the title of this post I made a BIG mistake.  Friday, Saturday and Sunday night I feel asleep in Izzy's room putting her to bed.  Correction, I feel asleep while I was nursing her before bed.  That meant that she had full access to the boob most of the night for those three nights.

Which means that when I tried to get back to my no nursing policy during the night she was PISSED with a capital "P".  I felt like I never went through weaning her the past two weeks.  Monday and Tuesday night was really hard and I didn't get much sleep.  I feel like I'm back at square one.  Sigh, I'll get there again soon I hope. 

Hubby Dropped the Ball

When I started my journey to wean Izzy a week ago I was anticipating less sleep than I was getting.  The first few days wasn't too bad.  I was seeing progress so I was more than willing to go through the day more on the tired side as long as I kept seeing improvements.  By the fifth night I the lack of sleep was getting to me.  Even though Izzy was able to get some sleep I wasn't from spending most of my night in That Blasted Chair.  I was irritated and some (okay most) of the frustration was pointed right at the hubby.  I took on 99.999999% of child care since Izzy was born.  That includes the time I was still working 12 hours night shifts and than I had to care for her in the morning when I got home.

Hubby helps but very inconsistently.  That alone wouldn't be so bad if he didn't also say "WE have to do this" or "WE should do that" when he really means I will be the one doing it.  Thursday night he promised me that he would put her to bed and get up with her in the middle of the night Friday and Saturday night so I could sleep.  Yeah, never happened!  Too bad there isn't a "whack da poppa" boot.  I should invent one for mommies to use when their hubbies are being butt heads.  Haha...  I'd be RICH!  So he says he'll help next week when I start to wean her from nursing at bedtime.  Anyone wanna bet that he won't help?

SCORE!

My little booger at the Aquarium

Last night was the best one yet.  I hope I don't jinx myself.  We had the same bedtime routine, milk, snack, diaper change and a story before bedtime.  She had a little bit of nursing and was out in about 10 minutes.  The only time she woke up was for about 5 minutes around 11:45pm because she was cold.  After a little bit of back rubbing and a warm blanket she was fast asleep until 4am.  Since she was born, last night was the longest blocks of sleep EVER!  At 4am I laid down with her in her room and let her nurse for a job well done.  :P  Then she slept again until close to 8:15am.  This is super AWESOME!  I'm doing the happy dance right now.  If you been following my posts for the last weeks I'm sure you've read how sleep deprived I've been.  I'm so proud of my baby and myself for sticking through with my goal.  Next week, I'm tackling the nursing before bedtime.  Wish me luck mommas!

Choices

This past week I've been focused on one thing.  No, that's not entirely accurate.  My focus with Izzy has been on one thing.  My goal is to wean her completely from nursing.  She is turning two the second week of September and I would like for her to no longer be nursing for any amount of time by then.  That might be an unreasonable deadline so at the very latest before we relocate to WA in October.

The amount of time a mom breastfeeds their child is completely a personal choice.  That being said, moms still get solicited and unsolicited advice as well as positive and negative comments about their choice.  I've read and heard some horror stories moms have gone through with co-workers, bosses, friends and family.  Moms have been criticized on whether or not they breastfeed, the length they do so and when and where they should be allowed to.

I bring this up because during this past week I've gotten the gamete of responses on my journey to wean through twitter, facebook, text, blog, etc.  I want to extend my gratitude to all the readers that extended their support not only for my choice to breastfeed but on my journey to wean.  What I'm surprised at is how some of the readers were down right scornful that I breastfed as long as I did.

Let me remind you that this is a personal blog about my tales as a mom and it reflects my personal choices.  Besides, if there was a zombie Armageddon, my family's survivability would be higher since I'm able to whip out a boob to feed my kid.  Thank you and GOOD NIGHT!

I See Da Light!

I'm feeling pretty good this morning!  We're up a little on the early side but that was mainly due to hubby grabbing the trash for trash day.  If you read yesterday's post, That Blasted Chair I'm sure you could read my frustration at the lack of sleep I was getting.  Last night when she woke up I just took her back to her room and laid down with her on my chest.  I was so tired that I knocked out.  She must have fell asleep  because I vaguely remember rolling her down next to me.  I'm sure she woke up a little here and there through the night and in my half conscious state I'm sure I rub her or something like that.  I know two things are for sure though, she didn't get to nurse last night and there wasn't any ear piercing cries.  So I'm pleased to announced that I made it through six nights without nursing her in the middle of the night.  I might be sleep deprived but I'm still alive.

There are some positive gains through this ordeal.  She's eating more at meals, sleeping longer stretches of time and learning to fall asleep without nursing.  I'm feeling pretty confident next week we (oh wait I really mean me) can cut out nursing before bed.  That one will be the hardest unless hubby mans up and jumps into help.  That's right, I said it!  Hubby if you read this HELP me HELP us!  Momma needs more sleep at night.

I've been the sole caregiver for Izzy since she popped out.  That's including the time before I became a SAHM and I was working 12 hour night shifts to get off and watch Izzy.  But that my dear mommas is another story or vent which ever you think applies.  Have a good weekend and wish me luck on the journey to wean my dear daughter from "da Boob".

That Blasted Chair

Man, I am SO tired this morning.  Last night was the fifth night I've been trying to weaning Izzy from nursing in the middle of the night.  I think the second night was a fluke since each night after that I've had to sit in the rocking chair for her to stay asleep.  I seriously feel like I did when she was a new born and was nursing every two hours.  I would sit in the rocking chair and end up falling asleep there with her until the next feeding.  Which meant that I would end up staying in that chair all night.  I'd wake up with a numb butt, sore neck and back.

That's what last night felt like.  I think I spent 3 or 4 hours in that rocking chair either trying to keep her asleep or sleeping there myself.  I also could NOT sleep.  I literally laid down at 10:15pm hoping to get some sleep before she woke up.  Not a chance, I tossed and turned until she woke up around 12:45am.  From then, I was in that blasted chair.  GRRR!  I was so delirious that I ended up letting her nurse at 4am instead of 6am.  I'm not sure if that will put me back another step or not.

There was one funny thing she did last night.  I laid down with her and I guess she notice the boob.  She didn't whine or cry but started maneuvering herself closer.  She even trying getting one out herself until I said something.  Then she rolled over gave me this HUGE cheesy smile and pointed to her diaper.  Haha Yea right, kiddo trying to be all sly for a sneak attack.

Step Back or Forward?

Last night was my fourth night at weaning Izzy from the middle of the night nursing.  On the third night there was no crying or asking for the boob she just had a little trouble falling back to sleep.  I was hoping, praying and crossing my fingers that last night would be at least the same or better.   I was sadly mistaken.  I recently put my foot down to wean Izzy by her second birthday which is less than a month away.  The only times she nurses is before bed, before a nap and during the night.   You can read about the first, second and third days here. 

For some reason she was having trouble staying asleep and falling asleep.  Okay she was having trouble sleep.  Since everything trickles down the same hill I in turn, also didn't sleep.  Last night was the first night I started feeling a little frustrated with the whole process.  I know I should consider the progress she did make.  I guess to me it was steps backward and I don't want to go back to night time feedings.

Let me explain.  No, she didn't get the boob last night but all my tricks for putting her to sleep wasn't working.  I held her, laid down with her, sat in the rocker with her, rubbed her back, etc.  It seems like the only way she was able to sleep was being held upright and that wasn't comfortable.  I really couldn't tell you how much sleep we were actually getting I was in a constant zombie state and I still feel like I am.  The only positive is that it wasn't a constant ear piercing cry like it was on the first night and she still didn't nurse last night.  Please, oh please let tonight be better.  An hour of sleep here and there isn't enough for me.  Wish me luck mommas!  I'll NEED it. 

Who Knew?

It's getting better and better!  What a relief!  Last night was my third night weaning Izzy from the middle of the night feeding. You can read about the first and second nights here.  She was asleep by 9pm and had a little bit of trouble settling down for the night.  She woke up for less than 5 minutes at 11pm and ended up falling back to sleep before I even got to the rocking chair.  It was close to 3:46am that she woke up again.

At 3:46am she came into our room and quieted right down as soon as I picked her up.  After a diaper change I laid back down with her and rubbed she back but otherwise didn't engage her.  This time it was a little harder for her to fall asleep but she never cried or asked for the boob.  She just laid down and watched me.  I must have dozed off because the next time she woke up was at 6am.  By that time I heard my hubby getting ready for work so I figured that's what woke her up.  So I let her nurse at 6am like I did yesterday.

If I don't count that short wake up at 11pm, she's already sleeping for longer and longer periods of time since I started weaning.  She hardly cried like she did that first time, just when she initially woke up.  To my surprise she didn't ask for the boob all night even though she was having trouble falling asleep.  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!  If this keeps going in a positive direction I just might make my goal of weaning her before her birthday. 

What? No Screaming?

Last night was my second night at weaning Izzy from the middle of the night feedings.  I tried to judge what horrors I would be facing based on the first night and from other mom's experiences.  I figured that I would have to face up to a week of murderous crying and sleepless nights.  To my pleasant surprise it wasn't half as bad as I geared myself up for.  Right before bed I made her a blueberry smoothie, read her a bedtime story and nursed her.  She went to bed around 8:15 pm with no problems and didn't wake up again for SIX hours.  That's right she slept for SIX hours!  The longest she's ever slept in one sitting was 5 hours and even those are random.

Even when she woke up she just whined a little bit.  The only thing I had to do was hold her and rub her back while I was sitting in the rocking chair for about 25 minutes and she was OUT!  No crying, no screaming, no kicking her legs on the floor or any other tantrum because I didn't give her the boob.  Even when I said no to her requests she just settled down.  I am SHOCKED!  She stayed asleep for another 90 minute before waking up again.  This time was a little harder to settle her down and ended up laying down with her on my stomach.  Again, I stuck to my guns and no feeding.

It wasn't until around 5:30-6am and I finally let her nurse.  So that still counts, right?  The only downside was that it took me longer to fall back asleep each time I put her down.  I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop that never happened.  I'm hoping for a similar outcome tonight.  Make that I'm praying for a similar outcome tonight.  Wish me luck!

I Want my Boobies Back!

I don't know what came over me last night but when she woke up in the middle of the night I decided that I just wasn't going to give her another feeding during the night.  My daughter will be two in less than a month and the other day I noticed her last two teeth coming in.  As of today she still nurses.  Hold on, before I start getting comments of horror that I'm still breastfeeding let me first say that I'm weaning her.  The only times she still nurses is going down for her nap, right before bed and when she wakes up in the middle of the night.

Personally, I am SO proud that my body has been able to produce milk for her this long.  I absolutely love the bonding experience I've had with her through breastfeeding.  I love that we can be in the middle of no where and I am fully capable of providing comfort and nourishment she needs.  I know if we were caught in the middle of a zombie attack my survival chances would be higher cause I wouldn't need to find formula.  (haha)  Just checking if you were paying attention.  This being said, I'm ready to get my boobs back.  They are ready for a long vacation, well at least until we have another one.

As I was saying, last night I decided to get her weaned by her birthday.  That means the middle of the night feeding goes first and let me tell you that night one was horrendous!  She was absolutely PISSED that I would not give up the goods.  She cried on and off for over THREE hours before finally knocking out until the morning.  Everything I did, holding her, rubbing her back, giving her cow's milk as a substitute, laying down with her, talking soothingly to her, laying her on my stomach, etc. did not work.  Each and every time she started falling asleep she would wake with a start and ask for the boob again.  Each and every time I said "no more booby" the crying started up again.

The foot is down and I will not waver.  I better not waiver!  Let's hope that night two goes more smoothly than last night.  Cross your fingers, toes and eyes for me.  :)