There are times when nothing I do seems to work with my toddler. It's as though as her confidence grows so does her willingness to talk back. I'll be the first to admit that I'm no expert at discipline. I just try my best to reinforce consequences for bad behavior. Izzy can throw a tantrum like the best of them with the tears, the screaming and even flailing legs for an added affect. That said I still think that generally Izzy is pretty well behaved.
We had another play date today with our neighbor and her two year old. It seems a little harsh to say but I think she is out of control. The first two times I could chalk it up to her being overly tired. At this point I want to say it's just her behavior. I watched as she repeatedly did things against her mother's wishes when the consequences weren't enforced. At one point she came to whisper to me a request that her mother just told her she couldn't do.
I felt for the mother, she genuinely seemed frustrated at her child's behavior. I only reinforced what the mother already told her. I smiled and inwardly cringed at the havoc she was doing to my house. I still want the two girls to become friends but I don't' want Bella's bad behavior to rub off on Izzy. Have you ever been in the position where you wanted to jump in but didn't think you should? Did you ever stop going to a play date in the chance the behavior would rub off on your child?
Maryann, this is so my nephew. I watch my sister give empty threats over and over and my nephew runs the show. My BIL trys to get tough but then my sister defends the kids, usually. Then they wonder why things are all out of whack. It didn't matter as much to me until William was 15mo or so and was entering that impressionable age. My sister is my best friend and we lived in the same apt complex so we saw each other almost everyday. About the time we bought this house is the time I decided William couldn't be around this type of behavior all the time or he would imitate it so I did start to distance myself from them. It became more phone call contact and less visits with all the kids together. I think it hurt my sisters feelings to some degree but I felt I didn't have a choice. Her son is now 4 and still a handful. He has mellowed out only a bit. He purposely antagonizes, talks back to all adults, gets physical and just basically drives everyone nuts at some point. I hate to say this about my own nephew but it's true. My Mom has better experiences with him, maybe because she is around him without other children. It is very, very hard to undo the bad behaviors, words, gestures, sarcasm etc so I would try to limit the contact with it before you get to that point, if you can. I've learned too that a spanking now and then is okay. It's good for your kids to be a little afraid of you and know you are gonna punish for the bad behavior. In the long run ignoring the behavior or feeling sorry and making excuses, then not following thru with punishments just prolongs this ugly process. It really sucks when it is a child you want to be able to be around too.
ReplyDeleteLanae,
DeleteI completely agree with you. This afternoon after the play date. Izzy started screaming NO more often. I corrected it each time. My deal is that she has to look at me in the eye and I tell her it's not okay and why. Then she has to apologize like she means it and give mommy a kiss. I also do a quick whack (on reinforced diaper butt) and it just shocks her out of it enough to listen. I'm still undecided about the other girl.