Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Too Far?

How far is going too far?  My cousin lives in D.C. with her husband.  She recently gave birth to her second daughter.  Last week my aunt flew back to San Diego after being in D.C. to help out my cousin for a few months before the baby was born.  To my surprise she flew back with my 20 month old niece without her parents for an extended visit.  The why isn't what this post is about.  What my aunt did, is.  It turns out that my aunt got my niece's ears pierced on Sunday WITHOUT prior approval from my cousin.  Personally, I would be pissed if my mom or my MIL pulled that.  I don't care what grandparents "think" they get to do because they're grandparents.  Piercing ears is NOT one of those, not by a long shot.  What would you do if your mom, dad or MIL and FIL did something equivalent?  How would you react?  What would you say to them?  Join in on the conversation.


  1. Just found your blog through Bloggy Moms and am your newest follower :)

    I could totally relate to your post. In my case, the evildoer was my own mother (which made me feel so betrayed). The victim: my then 4.5yr-old daughter, and myself of course (yes, I totally considered myself as a victim! I was so heartbroken for months afterwards!)

    Everyone who knows me know that I am very, VERY anal when it comes to my daughter's hair. It's one thing that, not Daddy, not Grandma, not Aunt, not teachers, and not even my daughter herself has a say. If it concerns my daughter's hair, me, myself, and I am the only one who have the authority in this matter.

    I like my daughter's hair long. Longer than most parents usually let their children's hair grow. And, without fringe. I want it all neat and tidy when I put her hair up in a ponytail.

    One day I came home and found that not only was my daughter's hair much shorter, she also had a fringe! No, not the kind of stylish fringe that gently swept to one side of her face. That I probably could forgive. It wasn't even thick enough to be called a fringe. It looked as if someone just grabbed a handful of her hair, cut them bluntly with safety scissors, and combed it to the front to make it look like a fringe.

    I was LIVID. All good parenting advice forgotten, I screamed at my mother in front of my little girl. "What did you DO to her hair!!?? Now she resembles a certain Loony Toon character meet Spock from Star Trek Enterprise!" My daughter, obviously shocked by my sudden outburst, started crying while holding her so-called fringe. Already believing what her mommy said about her looking like cartoon-meet-freaky outerspace lovechild.

    Err... sorry for taking so much of your comment space!!! Bad habit!!! Well, to make the long story short, no one has dared to touch my daughter's hair ever since.

    And yeah, I was horrible to my mother and was eventually ridden with guilt over shouting at her. But that was at least six months later, when my daughter's "fringe" had grown long enough to tuck them behind her ears.

  2. Not acceptable at all!!! First off isn't 20 months a little early I got Riese's ears pierced at 4 mos and I thought that was early but then again no one would touch them any earlier. I would have so much hurt and resentment take over me I may even for a moment disown them as family...well afte I got my daughter back. So I'm curious what was your cousin's reaction???

  3. @dosweatthesmallstuff I would be pissed too. By 4 1/2 your daughter's hair would have been grown in. I'm piticular with my daughter's hair too but at 18 months it's in a mullet stage right now. There's not much I can do with it except put it in pigtails. I'll admit it, I snikered a little when you worte that it took you 6 months to forgive your mom. At least now they know your boundaries, right? Thanks for commenting.

    @Mars I haven't spoken to my cousin yet so I don't know how she took it. I also don't want to bring it up, I'm sure it's a sore subject.

  4. Whoa! Not cool at all. I would be so, so pissed about that. I take my parenting choices very seriously and it's a huge breach of trust for someone (even a grandparent) to take the choice to pierce and when out of my hands. It would be a huge deal to me.


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