Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Boundaries

Hi mommies!  I am to say the least, "irked" from our recent visit from my mom.  In general she is extremely supportive, loving and helpful when it comes to her grand daughter, Izzy.  However, there are times when she is completely clueless when it comes to what Izzy needs most.  Today's visit is a perfect example.  Izzy is coming down with yet another cold.  It seems like once she gets over one she picks up another from an outing.   She is congested with a cough and sneezing. 

Last night as you can probably predict was not pleasant for either of us.  She could not breathe which woke her up and couldn't nurse for comfort because she wasn't able to breath.  It was a vicious circle.  What she desperately need today was sleep and lots of it. Once my mom found out that we were going to stay in she wanted to come by for a visit.  I left her a message before she got here that I was nursing her down for a nap.  She still came.  When she got here we were in Izzy's room WITH THE DOOR CLOSED and she was falling asleep.  My mom still comes in and starts talking to Izzy.  Really?!?!  I tell her I'm trying to put her to sleep and she stands there for another minute before leaving the room to make noise in the next room.  The baby's awake, hearing noises and starts crying.  Okay, playtime with grandma. When she finally falls asleep an hour later my mom AGAIN comes in the room to say she's leaving.  I don't need you to come in to tell me that especially when you know I'm trying to put the baby to sleep.  Thanks!  Izzy only had a thirty minute nap today.  Crank does not even begin to cover it. 

Sometimes, sometimes grandparents can be so selfish when they want to see their grand kids.   Just saying, maybe it should be more about the grand kids and not the grandparents.  Have you had to deal with something similar?  Join in on the conversation.

5 comments:

  1. I saw your tweet and I wanted to respond and got side tracked. I completely know what you mean. My mother in law has become a totally different person once we had kids. I never knew if it was her being "clueless" all of a sudden or just plain inconsiderate. Unfortunately it has escalated into other issues and problems but as you mentioned, supportive, loving and helpful. I don't know how to explain it but I've had a whirlwind of issues with my MIL since having the boys. Everything seems to revolve around HER and what she wants to do as a Grandma, not what's best for the Grandkids or what WE as THEIR PARENTS wants to do. Her excuse is always, "I'm grandma, that's what we get to do." *Gasp* Needless to say...our relationship has since changed because of an attitude like that! SMH.

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  2. I could write another post (or twenty) just on the MIL. There are so many examples of the lack of boundaries when it comes to grandparents. I'm thankful that my parents are as good as they are but I wish they would just let her sleep. SIGH!

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  3. Ugh- my mom is the same way. She gives into Addison all the time- even after I or daddy have said "no". She always turns to "gredda". IHey mom- I am not trying to raise a brat here- thanks!

    Worse part- I can't blog about it! She reads my blog, thanks to facebook... so instead I read other mama's vents on grandparent and just reply~ I fell you pain.

    Sorry Izzy is not feeling well. Hoope tomorrow is a better day.

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  4. *heavy sigh* I have that problem w/ both my mom & dad but mostly my mom since they are the only surviving grandparents. It sucks and is especially annoying that it is your own parents lacking the common sense. Thanks to them and not knowing the meaning of the word "NO" when around Riese she is a PIA, a terror, a spoiled rotten brat when they are around oh not to mention her mommy & daddy are evil monsters. Then after a few hours I can sense they want their lives back and we have to go home or they want to escape to their peaceful child-free home and leave us with the monster they created. My mom has come as far as tried to wake up Rese intentionally just so their visit is not wasted, obviously telling them the kd is napping doesn't stop them from coming so now I just tell them I don't want anybody here at the house. Click. That usually solves the problem. :)

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  5. @Mars That would really piss me off. It's not like they live in another city and hardly see Riese either. Today was the first day I had a spa day all to myself. Hubby was watch Izzy, and doing an excellent job I might add, and I got FOUR phone calls from my parents. My dad called twice and my mom called twice with each message getting more insistent that I call them back. Really?!?!? I must not have anything else to do since I'm a SAHM.

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