Tantrum

Tantrums.  Yes, that one would can in fact strike fear in a full grown adult.  When I was a new mom I would hear horror stories about toddler tantrums and the terrible twos.  I also saw many frazzled parents dealing with their own terrible two year old.

As my own daughter began developing her tantrums my parenting strategies changed to take into account her bad behavior.  Some days it seems like whatever it is I'm doing is working.  While other days, I want to crawl into a dark hole and hid.  What's even worse is the more my child is developing her language skills and motor skills the tantrums are only getting worse, not better.  WHY, WHY, WHY?!?!?  Shouldn't it be the other way around?  Now that she's able to tell me what she wants shouldn't the her frustration go down?

Today's tantrum was in epic proportions.  I had an unexpected day off when my day care called to say the are close for possible mold.  So I thought it would be a great idea to check out the child's concert in the park at Silver Lake.  Tim Noah was there and the concert was free.  I never heard of the guy but I guess he's this big singer of children's songs.

Izzy had a great time singing, dancing, and jumping around during the concert.  We even stayed after to play on the amazing play ground.  I would have let her play longer but it was very crowded and I had a big bag of things I couldn't lug around while chasing after her.

Once I told her it was time to go, she flipped.  This child screamed nonstop for 40 minutes.  She screamed on the way out of the park, through two time outs trying to leave the park, in the car ride home, unpacking the car and refused to take a nap.  I have never seen her THAT bad.  She has here moments but never screamed at FULL volume the entire tantrum.  I was so surprised that I didn't get flustered and kept me cool the entire time.  I even stuck to my guns and had her sit in a time out and made her say sorry to get out of it.  She thought she was off the hook and when I kept trying to leave the screaming continued.

What was your child's worse tantrum?  Was it at home or in public?

Cheese with that Whine?

I don't know what changed.  Whatever it was it started 2-3 weeks ago.  My two almost three year old has a consta-whine.  She can turn it on at the drop of a hat for no reason at all.  It's almost as if the more her vocabulary grows the less she uses it and just whines for what she wants.  There aren't even words mixed in, it's just a low level "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........."  The more I ask her to use her words or try to guess what she wants the more she mumbles and whines.

Has this happened to any other parent out there?  Has your toddler taken a step forward in development just to jump back down the cliff?  Let me tell you that at times it have to just remove myself to scream.  No it's not that bad.  The whine to me is like nails on a chalk board and can get frustrating because I know very well that she has the vocabulary to ask for what she wants and she just doesn't.

What is your experience?  Does this stage last long?  Will it end?  Please say it will end, gah!

Parenting Compliments

As a parent you question how you are raising your child and you hope at the end of this journey your child grows up to be a well adjusted, contributing member of society.  My child didn't arrive with an instruction booklet or a pair of glasses the see into the future.  So I don't know if what I'm doing now will result in a positive thing or negative thing.  My daughter is going to turn 2 in two months and she is a Toddler with a capital "T".   There are days that she makes me so frustrated that I need to take a moment to myself to regroup.  While other days my eye get misty and my heart skips a beat because I feel so thankful I'm her mommy.

Since the "terrible twos" and the "toddler tantrums" have made an appearance in our household I've tried different tactics to see what works best with my toddler.  I definitely did not want my daughter to think it was okay to scream, whine, or throw a tantrum to get what she wanted.  I made it a point from the very beginning, that she had to say "please mommy" if she wanted something.  As her vocabulary increased I helped her through simple sentences to ask for what she wanted.  For example, "More milk please mommy." 

These days she's been using the whine/scream/tantrum tactic first and it's been tough to shake her from that bad habit.  Now in the face of all that screaming I keep saying, "You have to use your words, mommy doesn't understand you when you scream like that" until she gives me enough hints to figure out what she's screaming at.  Once I figure out what she wants and she starts to calm down then I prompted her to stand in front of me, cross her arms and use her words to ask mommy nicely for what she wants.  I tell her "It's NOT okay to scream at mommy like that, when you want something you need to use your words and ask mommy nicely."

I really think whatever I'm doing is really working.  We were at that vet today and she started whining.  We went through the steps, stand in front of me, cross her arms, ask nicely, and follow up with thank you.  The vet gave me the BIGGEST COMPLIMENT on my parenting.  She said she's never seen a child with such good manners.  She really liked how I handled it and even said she wants to use that when she has children.   How awesome is that! Toddlers are tough and I'm sure I have more white hair from the stress but that little pat on the back gave me the validation that I just might be doing the right thing after all.  :)

Have you received any comments that made you feel the same?  What were they?  Have you given anyone else positive parenting comments?  What did you see to make you share that compliment?

Who's That Crazy Lady?

Have you ever noticed that you are more willing to do things you wouldn't have been caught dead doing before having kids?  I am so there right now.  Izzy and I were out and about most of the morning.  I had to take her to the pediatrician for a wellness checkup and then run errands afterwards.  Towards the end of our trip we were waiting at the red light around lunch time.  Izzy was getting a little fussy so I broke out singing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider".  She loves that song and will usually join in with me.  I also get into the hand motions and sway side to side to get her involved in the song without much thought to how I look doing it.

While singing I glanced over to my left and find myself looking straight into the eyes of the passenger in the next car... laughing hysterically.  I didn't think I looked THAT bad but I'm sure I either looked crazy or good for a chuckle.  This guy, however, was laughing hysterically.  I'll admit, I felt a twinge of heat rushing to my cheeks.  After a second I thought WTH.  Izzy's happy again, I avoided a blow up and I made someone else's day better with a laugh.

So if you're driving along minding your own business and just happen to see a woman singing, dancing or generally making a fool of herself.  That woman probably has a child or two in the backseat that she's trying to keep entertained for the remained of the car ride.  So be kind and snicker looking the other way.  Thank you and have a nice day.  That is all.

Discipline for Toddlers

Yesterday, a friend of mine posted to her Facebook "As a stay at home mom there are a few days I want to scream 'I don't want to do this sh#@ no more!!!  That would be today.'"  I could feel the frustration she was feeling by her words.  I am confident I can say that all moms have been there at least once during their time as a parent.  Even with the love we feel for our children there are times when the battle of wills becomes too much and our frustration overwhelms us.

Emotions

This is especially true during toddlerhood.  My daughter tests her limits and mine on a daily basis.  At some moments it's repeating an action I don't want her to do.  Other times she's unable to deal with her own anger or frustration which results in a temper tantrum of epic proportions.  At home, the tantrums are easier to deal with the ones out in public.  I try my best not to be that mom with the out of control child.  You know the ones I'm talking about.

The question I pose to you is what are your methods of dealing with discipline?  I found an article at Baby Center about successful discipline strategies for every age.  Have you ever tried these?  Do they work for you?  Join in on the conversation.